A Visit With Kayley
It began with me talking to myself. I do. I’m in the middle of talking to myself and our neighbor girl popped around the corner and said, “Hi, Dave!” My first response? Embarrassment…but my second response happened a second later, I tried to cover it up by acting normal. Normal like I’m used to a near the end of first grade girl suddenly appearing when I was not expecting her. Did I mention I almost jumped in surprise?
I knew she wanted to talk. I knew she wanted to spend some time together. But, I was on the final task before going to load up some firewood. (for next winter…) I made a simple plan with her. “Do you have gloves to protect your hands?” I asked. My plan was to have her help unload the firewood. She said she did. I told her I would meet her by our wood pile when I returned.
Except then I sat in the house and rested from the work. After that, my wife and I took a walk. By my estimate, two or more hours passed. Then I went to unload the firewood and stack it in the pile. Thinking she would hear me or see me working, I unloaded and stacked. And I forgot about Kayly. The last thing in the wood unloading process is sweeping out the pickup box. Never thought about Kayly then either. That was soon to change. I had just finished sweeping out the pickup box and she came. She said she was ready to help. I spelled out loud the word DONE. I told her this word tells you what part of the unloading is left…she did not seem too concerned. She wanted to talk.
That a 7-year-old girl would want to talk to an old guy amazes me. She is a special girl, she likes people…even old ones. I consider it a privilege to talk with her. So, we made a plan. I needed to return the pickup to the garage and put the broom away. While I did that, she would walk to our deck. I would meet her there when things were put away.
He name is not Kayly. We made that up to give her some anonymity. We want to protect her.
Let me tell you about the “Conversation with Kayly.” Her full made-up name is Kayly Renner Johnson. She thought of Renner, Johnson was my contribution.
Being a former teacher, questions are my favorite thing to ask children. Kayly is a thoughtful girl. And she is easy to talk with. I told her in the beginning that I planned to use our conversation as the topic of a blog post. I briefly explained what a blog is. Her eyes told me she wanted to talk about other things. We did.
We decided to begin with the topic of “fun things.”
Let me ask you first. What are your top three fun things? Would you say enjoying a quiet evening out at a fine restaurant? What about a week’s vacation in an exotic place? Would your third choice be maybe a new car? Pause a moment. How do you think Kayly answered?
Her answers with details are:
1. Camping-spending time with family, friends and her parents. Camping fun includes hiking on trails, or if you bring your bike-biking. She remembered the best snack for camping are smores. But Kayly surprised me with this…they have to be smores made with love. Do you like that?
2. Drum roll for #2. Having a play day with friends came next. They would snack on cheese and crackers she said.
3. I was not surprised when she said number 3, “Talking outside with your neighbor.” We did not discuss snacks. My wife had already given her some Hersey’s Kisses. She was saving them to share with her mom and dad.
4. She thought of this one as sort of an after-thought…Sleep over. When I said sleep-overs are not really for sleeping, she explained. When Kayly does a sleep over with friends, they can stay awake 1 hour past their bedtime. Then they have to go to sleep.
Boring…
We decided to talk about what is boring next. Why not? We’d discussed exciting, now we’d talk about the opposite. But conversation on this topic did not last long. We could only think of one thing. Kayly said she didn’t know why either. Here is what Kayly thinks is boring:
Slumping over-with nothing to do.
Do you slump when you have nothing to do? I fall asleep, but then I am old…and oh, Kayly and I both agree, there is nothing boring about being outside.
Exciting-
This topic naturally followed boring. Can you think of the most exciting thing for Kayly? You can have three choices: riding her bike, going to school or birthdays. You guessed it…birthdays are the most exciting for Kayly. Why birthdays? She said these things quickly…big parties, cake or cupcakes and hanging out with friends. Are you surprised she didn’t say presents? She didn’t. I’m surprised. Very good Kayly!
When you are 7… conversation must have a time limit. Or perhaps it’s because I am 70? Regardless, we’d already done three when this topic came up. It was my idea…sorry.
Most important…
When I asked her what she thought was most important. She was quiet. She thought for quite a while. Actually, longer that I thought she might. She gave this question serious consideration. Her answers tell me she is responsible. She follows instructions. What would you answer? Would your list include health? How about a good job…and money? Would you say being happy?
This is what Kayly answered. To her, the most important is:
1. A shower------
2. Get ready----- (In other words be ready for the day…and draw a conclusion-she likes school!)
3. Brush your teeth----
4. Then she thought of one more: BE CAREFUL (She did not shout it.)
Then I thought I could speak and offer an idea. I told her that one of the most important things to me was “to love your neighbor as yourself.” She clarified… “You mean friendship love.” I said, “Yes.”
What happens when you love your neighbor like yourself? One of the best things life can offer happens. A good feeling comes into your heart. Peace joins it there. You understand that talking with your neighbor in love is one of the biggest things we can do in any day. A feeling that everything is just right comes over you. You find yourself thinking…”I want to do this again.”